Wishing to connect.

There are times...like tonight.

I think about my life.

All that I have been through.

The good, the bad.

Or is there a good and bad?

Or is it just what it is.

Like the yin and yang.

There cannot be light without dark, hate without love.

Not being able to lap up the ecstasy of color without the lack of it.

Or could there really just be good?

Maybe every once in a while the evil urchin would rear it's ugly head to remind us we are veering off track.

Sometimes I hate that evil urchin and yet sometimes

I want to "be" that evil urchin.

So tonight I realize that I am downloading some data that has been stuck somewhere in my head.

Must have been that stabbing pain I got in my head.

You know what I mean.

When it feels like someone has temporarily stuck a knife in your head and then magically it's gone?

So I check out all my fam's blogs.

And I feel somewhat connected to them.

But not.

I miss them.

And I wonder....do they miss me?

But how can you miss something you never really had.

Is it a desperate plea for something that is lost?

A need to feel loved?

Or just simply the desire that you make a difference in someones life.

That your existence matters.

After all, we all want to matter.

We all want to have an effect.

Make a difference.

Will I?

I will.

Peace Out